Friday, June 5, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Editorial
What if all of your friends, family, everyone you knew looked exactly the same? Think of how boring it would be to look at people! That's why I'm encouraging you to find your own style and wear it without any fear of judgement. Too many people at Eastview have the same hairstyle, same clothing style, same style in general. It's time to change things up a little bit.
What a lot of people don't seem to know is that there are a lot of other stores to shop at besides Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister. Next time you're at the mall, check out some other stores that you've never been to before. You might find something you really like even if it's completely different. It's okay if no one at school has anything like it. It's actually a good thing to be an individual. Just be bold and stand out!
Buying clothes from different stores can be more cost-friendly, sometimes. It depends what your style is.
What a lot of people don't seem to know is that there are a lot of other stores to shop at besides Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister. Next time you're at the mall, check out some other stores that you've never been to before. You might find something you really like even if it's completely different. It's okay if no one at school has anything like it. It's actually a good thing to be an individual. Just be bold and stand out!
Buying clothes from different stores can be more cost-friendly, sometimes. It depends what your style is.
Prewrite
1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
too many students at Eastview High School are not being able to express themselves in their day to day dress because many are afraid of the judgement they will get from their peers or groups of friends. So many conform to just wearing the similar things.
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
people should not be afraid to "branch" out or try different and BOLD things that they like. It will be easier for them to express themselves and they wont feel like they have to conform to the looks or fashions of others.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)To persuade people that it is really okay to be bold and go all out. To find that they will feel a bit more at ease with themselves and everyone else.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
Suggest fashion magazines.
Express the point that fashion is not just a feminine thing but guys can really get into it too. (breaking the sterotypical idea)
It will be less expensive. Adopting ones own style is cheaper because your money is being spent on more than one thing. or you get more for your money.
shop at places like vintage markets or downtown boutiques, things that attract their eye but would never really wear.
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
we could tell people about what we are wearing and where we bought it from.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
it will persuade people to not care about the general publics ideas or opinions
too many students at Eastview High School are not being able to express themselves in their day to day dress because many are afraid of the judgement they will get from their peers or groups of friends. So many conform to just wearing the similar things.
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
people should not be afraid to "branch" out or try different and BOLD things that they like. It will be easier for them to express themselves and they wont feel like they have to conform to the looks or fashions of others.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)To persuade people that it is really okay to be bold and go all out. To find that they will feel a bit more at ease with themselves and everyone else.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
Suggest fashion magazines.
Express the point that fashion is not just a feminine thing but guys can really get into it too. (breaking the sterotypical idea)
It will be less expensive. Adopting ones own style is cheaper because your money is being spent on more than one thing. or you get more for your money.
shop at places like vintage markets or downtown boutiques, things that attract their eye but would never really wear.
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
we could tell people about what we are wearing and where we bought it from.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
it will persuade people to not care about the general publics ideas or opinions
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Feature Story Peer Edits
Emmy Burns - Twilight
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I...don't really know, your article was super detailed about everything, very descriptive, and answers just about any question there is about the series.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Almost all of your sources seemed to like the series a lot. It could be more interesting if you used a few more sources that didn't like the series and why they didn't. I really liked your lead. Since I don't know a lot about the Twilight series, it made me very interested in learning what it was about and why so many people like it.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
A scene? Hmm...I'm not sure where a scene would be needed...maybe in the paragraph where you're talking about the poor special effects, you can give an example from the movie.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
Maybe you could describe what each of the books are about a little bit more. Otherwise, I think this article was very well-written.
Aaron Butler - Mayan Theory
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could talk about why the Mayan's think the world will end on this day, what's their reasoning?
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Maybe a teacher or someone who has studied this theory before.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Not really, I don't know how you could include a scene in this type of article since the Mayan civilization was a long time ago.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
More information on the civilization, what other predictions they had that came true, etc. Otherwise, good job! This was an interesting topic.
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I...don't really know, your article was super detailed about everything, very descriptive, and answers just about any question there is about the series.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Almost all of your sources seemed to like the series a lot. It could be more interesting if you used a few more sources that didn't like the series and why they didn't. I really liked your lead. Since I don't know a lot about the Twilight series, it made me very interested in learning what it was about and why so many people like it.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
A scene? Hmm...I'm not sure where a scene would be needed...maybe in the paragraph where you're talking about the poor special effects, you can give an example from the movie.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
Maybe you could describe what each of the books are about a little bit more. Otherwise, I think this article was very well-written.
Aaron Butler - Mayan Theory
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could talk about why the Mayan's think the world will end on this day, what's their reasoning?
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Maybe a teacher or someone who has studied this theory before.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Not really, I don't know how you could include a scene in this type of article since the Mayan civilization was a long time ago.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
More information on the civilization, what other predictions they had that came true, etc. Otherwise, good job! This was an interesting topic.
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